Fear is a mechanism inherent in us by evolution, i.e. At each stage of development, the child may have various fears.
So, infants are afraid that the adult who cares about him will disappear, because without him, he is not able to survive. Older children are wary of strangers, and babies from 1 to 3 years old are afraid to lose their mother, a symbol of stability.
After 4 years, the child fantasizes a lot, and he can already scare the mysterious monsters under the bed or in a nearby park. At the same time, the first thoughts about death appear.
After 7 years, children are afraid of real things: injections, fires, dogs, etc. At this age, they do not want to watch the news, because they contribute to fears.
But if the baby is not afraid of anything at all, this is also not very good, because may be a sign of impaired attachment or sensitivity.
A little fear is normal, but only until it develops into a phobia. The task of parents is to help the child cope with them, to learn how to react to them correctly.
10. The child should not hide his fears
Talk with your child about this topic. Explain to him that fear is normal. If something scares, you do not need to hide your feelings. It is better to immediately tell the adult that he refuses to do something, because he is very scared.
Sometimes educators, teachers begin to get angry at a preschooler or primary school child, because consider him naughty.
But in fact, he does not obey, because afraid of something. When the child explains to the teacher or other adult the reason for his behavior, the irritation will go away. An adult will think about how to cope with the situation and solve it based on his experience.
9. Find out what exactly scares him
Children often themselves do not understand what is happening to them. They simply experience this or that emotion, but do not yet know how to analyze. Help him with this.
So, if the baby does not want to go to the clinic, you need to find out why. Maybe the doctor’s angry face scares him? Or is he afraid that they will take blood from his finger?
Once you figure it out, you can work together on fears. For example, to explain that blood is taken only once, and now you just go to the doctor, and this does not hurt at all.
Teach your child to evaluate the strength of his fear on a scale from 0 to 10.
8. Do not deny the fears of the child
Mom or dad should show the baby that they are always ready to help him. And this help is manifested in the fact that you show your respect for his feelings.
That is, it’s not enough to say, “this is all nonsense, there are no monsters”, or “you cannot be a coward.” So you deny children's fears, but from this they do not disappear.
Let the child speak out, talk with him about this topic. Active listening is also a method, it will become easier for the baby after the conversation.
7. Fears need to be fought gradually
Of course, many would like to get rid of their fears in one day or a few hours. But in order to really cope with them, you need to move in small steps.
Such tactics are the most promising. But, if you have the same fear, and you could not cope with it, do not try to convince the child, because it will not work.
So, if the baby is afraid of water, you need to watch videos and pictures with bathing children. Talk about what can be dangerous (swim without adults, go deep into the water, etc.).
Then you can both go to the river or the pool, but for a start just lower your legs into the water, take a walk along the shore. Later swim where not shallow, with a life jacket, next to the parent.
An example of other children is contagious. The child will not be afraid if, for example, in the water park he can watch other kids, make sure that they are doing well. When the fear has passed, in order to consolidate all this, you can record the child in the pool.
6. No frightening surprises.
Children, especially those between 4 and 6 years old, love predictability. They need stability, confidence that everything is going according to plan. This helps fight anxiety.
Therefore, surprises, especially when it comes to a noisy party, which the child got for the first time, or the first trip to the amusement park, is best avoided. He may be scared, and then will avoid such events.
If you have planned a holiday, tell your child about it. Explain how everything will happen. And at this moment, the mother or other close person should be there to pat the baby on the head, hold his hand.
5. Talk to your child as often as possible
Often we ourselves do not realize what we are afraid of. As soon as you call your fear, you will understand that nothing terrible should happen, it will pass by itself. Therefore, it is so important to answer all the questions of the baby, tell him about how the world works.
For example, many are afraid of snakes, because among them there are poisonous ones. Their bite is really dangerous. But they are sitting in a terrarium at the zoo, and they themselves will not be able to get out of it. And in our forests, cobras, anacondas are not found, you should not be afraid of them. We also have poisonous snakes, but they live far in the forest and do not attack people themselves. And, even if a person steps on a snake, she will bite him, you need to immediately go to the doctor, he will give an injection, and everything will pass.
4. Play a game that helps you cope with fear.
Our psyche is designed in such a way that one emotion, mixing with another, can extinguish the first. This feature can help overcome fears. But make sure that the child receives positive emotions, otherwise the situation will worsen.
So, if a child is afraid of ghosts, you can watch a cartoon with him where Carlson becomes a ghost. Or Halloween dress up as a ghost.
3. Teach him breathing exercises
There are many breathing exercises on the Internet. Do them with your child if he is suddenly worried or scared.
For example, the exercise "balloon". Let the baby lie on the floor, put his hands on his tummy. He should inflate his stomach, taking a slow, deep breath, like a balloon. Then make a slow exhale, blowing off the "ball". Or a sail.
Tell him about the boat, which runs through the waves thanks to the wind blowing its sails. And then the wind died down. Need to help the boat. The child should inhale as much air as possible, and then exhale it forcefully through the mouth.
2. Find a way to protect against fears
The child is afraid, because feels defenseless. But if you come up with some way to deal with fear, he will calm down. You can give him a flashlight in bed. As soon as he gets scared, he can turn it on, and the light scares the ghosts.
Or put next to it a protector figure, for example, Superman or another hero whom the child trusts.
1. Discuss with the baby his fears, draw them
By drawing, the child spills his feelings and feelings on paper. This method is especially effective when it comes to imaginary fears, i.e. nothing happened, but it can happen, according to the child.
This method is suitable for children 5-11 years old. You need to ask the child to draw what he fears, for each fear - a separate sheet.
He does not need to help, he must do everything himself. But you can explain how to do it. If he is afraid of loneliness, let him draw himself without adults and what he fears.