In films, romantic stories often look exactly the same: newlyweds glowing with happiness, flowers, a white dress of the bride ... However, young lovers of such scenes do not always think about what spouses in love with each other have to face after the wedding. We bring to your attention 10 conclusions of a woman who has been living with her husband for 12 years.
10. Passion Passes
It should be borne in mind that the passion that is so often shown in films is not love, but love dependence. It implies fixation on the object of sighing, tears, crazy emotions. Some “sit down” on passion as a drug, and when it passes, they simply don’t know what to do next and leave the annoyed lovers. Family is not passion, namely love, tested by time and difficulties, without tantrums and constant clarification of relationships. Such feelings are more valuable and pleasant, but not all people realize this: understanding usually comes with age.
9. Family life is not only joy
“Happy and long” without breaks for the weekend and lunch does not happen. Spouses who live together for a long time still have to deal with such problems as resentment, irritation, fatigue, illness, financial difficulties. Even those people who love each other very much quarrel from time to time, and this is absolutely normal. The main thing is not to forget to put up, not to get stuck in such everyday problems and treat each other with attention, respect and tact.
8. Husband and wife should not differ in social level
Unions of princes and Cinderellas are usually found only in beautiful fairy tales. In real life, people who have entered into an unequal marriage often get divorced sooner or later. At first they are drawn to each other, succumbing to the chemistry of passion, but then, when the pink glasses fall off, all the differences in education and upbringing come out. Since childhood, many parents have been bothering their daughters with romantic stories that are completely inconsistent with the real situation.
7. Spouses must develop together
You should not think that you can stop at what has already been achieved. If one of the spouses is not at all striving for development, the result will be sad: the one who interferes with the growth of a lover, usually as a result is abandoned. A husband who watches TV every night and drinks beer, a wife who is interested only in children, cleaning and cooking - ballasts that purposeful and interesting people dump. Do not forbid, do not interfere with your soulmate to develop, and do not forget that only an interesting person can keep close to you for a long time.
6. Must accept each other
Of course, some habits of a husband or wife can be annoying, this is absolutely normal. However, in general, you must fully accept your spouse, otherwise the whole family life will be filled with quarrels for the most insignificant reasons. You will begin to find fault with a person in details, and he will very quickly want to run away from home as far as possible. Do not try to change your soulmate, and as a thank you, she herself will begin to change for the better.
5. The wife should not completely dissolve in her husband and children
A real woman first takes care of herself, and after that - her beloved spouse and child. You cannot betray yourself even when you are very much in love. Otherwise, you can very quickly bother your husband, become a burden. Be not a boring aunt, but a brilliant queen, and your soulmate is unlikely to stare at other women. An interesting person may be one with whom you want to talk, who you want to re-recognize every day. Appreciate yourself, and the husband will be crazy about you.
4. A husband must be needed - and at the same time free
Do not be afraid that your spouse will ever leave you, otherwise fear will poison your whole life. Try to understand: every person is absolutely free. This is normal if the spouse suddenly decides to build his personal life without your participation. However, this may not happen, so do not waste yourself in vain and enjoy a happy family life - here and now. Remember that the mood is also very important: if you think that everything will end in disaster, it will happen.
3. People with close temperament live long married
It is believed that opposites attract, but this statement is far from always true. The homebody is unlikely to be able to live in a happy marriage with a companionable person who is constantly striving to go somewhere. Even if the extrovert does not persuade the introvert to get out of the cozy nest with him, the latter will sooner or later begin to be jealous of the second half to many acquaintances. Of course, this does not mean at all that the characters of the husband and wife should be exactly the same: some differences are smoothed out quite easily, there would be a desire. However, temperaments should not be completely opposite.
2. Your spouse may have their own aspirations and interests.
Both the husband and the wife should have the right to personal time and to their own space. Sometimes you need to relax from each other: go fishing with friends, shopping with friends, just read or listen to music alone. Each spouse should have their own money: it is very humiliating to ask the other half each time to allocate a little for cigarettes or for gaskets.
1. Decisions should be taken together
You can not talk about insignificant daily affairs, but you should definitely discuss any important decisions for all family members, major purchases. Such decisions should be taken together, it is advisable to convene a family council. Sometimes you have to make compromises: for relationships this is a common thing. Listen, hear each other, and in family life there will be much more joy than problems.